STEC Archives, Print Document Division
Curator signature: Cusk, on behalf of Andrea Lawrence, Chief Science Officer, STEC
Format: Archival Records
Object: Lab notebook of Andrea Lawrence, Chief Science Officer, Special Task and Evaluation Command.
Location (if known): STEC Mobile Base 03, “Avalon”
Time (if known): Feb. 10th-13th, 1989
Note: All pages have the subheading “An Assessment of Shipgirl Clothing Durability, by Dr. Andrea L. Lawrence.”
Feb 10th:
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena
Equipment Used: Beretta M9, 9x19mm NATO x5
Distance: 50 meters
Results: No effect. Bullet simply “bounced” off or fragmented upon impact.
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena
Equipment Used: Beretta M9, 9x19mm NATO x5
Distance: 25 meters
Results: See above.
Comments: Wait, I have it! It’s got to be because Helena’s wearing it, right? I know what to do now…
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena
Equipment Used: Beretta M9, 9x19mm NATO x5
Distance: 5 meters
Results: See above.
Comments: Nope, let me try the other thing.
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Ballistic Dummy created in crude facsimile of Helena
Equipment Used: Beretta M9, 9x19mm NATO x5
Distance: 25 meters
Results: Round fully penetrated ballistic dummy, but the cloth remain completely undamaged.
Comments: Huuuuuuuuuuh. Well, I sort of knew this would be the case, but seriously, look at that flimsy thing! Just what is the stuff made out of anyways?
Feb 11th:
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena
Equipment Used: M4 Carbine Prototype, 5.56×45mm NATO x5
Distance: 250 meters, 150m, 50m, 25m.
Results: None observed.
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena
Equipment Used: Barrett Sniper Rifle Prototype, .338 Lapua Magnum x5
Distance: 250 meters
Results: Round fragmented upon contact. Otherwise no effect.
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena
Equipment Used: M72LAW x5
Distance: 100 meters
Results: No visible effects.
Comments: Wow, well, time to bring out the big guns then.
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena
Equipment Used: AAWS-M x 5
Distance: 1000 meters
Results: No visible effects.
Item tested: Helena’s dress and/or headpiece
Object: Helena
Equipment Used: M224 firing 10x M720A HE rounds.
Distance: 1000 meters
Results: Small crater around the otherwise unaffected Helena. Helena looking bored.
Comment: Was told that I needed to take experiments elsewhere, hmph. Well, someone should have done this stuff a LONG time ago, it’s just nobody ever took the time to do science PROPERLY!
Feb 12th:
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena
Equipment Used: M198 howitzer firing 5x M-107 standard.
Distance: 10,000 meters
Results: No visible effects.
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena
Equipment Used: M1 Abrams Tank, firing 10x Prototype M829A2 APFSDS rounds
Distance: 4,000 meters
Results: No visible effects.
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena
Equipment Used: M109A6 “Paladin”, firing 2x M712 Copperhead.
Distance: 8,000 meters
Results: No visible effects.
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Concrete facsimile of Helena “wearing” dress.
Equipment Used: M109A6 “Paladin”, firing 2x M712 Copperhead.
Distance: 8,000 meters
Results: Facsimile reduced to fine powder. Dress unharmed.
Feb 13th:
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena, at sea.
Equipment Used: MGM-52 Lance launched from Avalon base.
Distance: ~25,000 meters
Results: No visible effects.
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena, at sea.
Equipment Used: MGM-140B – Block IA launched from Avalon base.
Distance: ~25,000 meters
Results: Helena’s hair slightly out of order. Otherwise, no visible effects.
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Boat with Helena’s dress placed on it.
Equipment Used: MGM-140B – Block IA launched from Avalon base.
Distance: ~25,000 meters
Results: Boat annilated. Helena’s dress completely unharmed.
Item tested: Helena’s dress
Object: Helena, at sea.
Equipment Used: BGM-109A w/W80 warhead launched from USN Destroyer – Requsition Pending DENIED
Distance: ~25,000 meters
Results:
A note is found stapled to the crossed-out section above.
Cusk here. Mike would like to see you in his office tomorrow regarding unauthorized deployment of conventional weapons on Avalon base. Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in?